English-Winglish Dictionary

Some sample entries from Mark Kleiman's English-Winglish Dictionary (updated):

alternative energy sources /n. phr./ 1. New locations to drill for gas and oil. 2. Coal mines.

climate change /n. phr./ Progress toward the blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.

DeLay /n./ Past tense of De Lie.

God /n./ Senior presidential adviser.

religious freedom /n. phr./ Our freedom to impose our religion on heathens, idolators, infidels, and atheists.

Roe v. Wade Your options for escaping a flooded city if you're poor and Heckuva Job Brownie is running FEMA.

woman /n./ 1. Person who can be trusted to raise a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have a child in the first place. 2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place.

Kleiman is soliciting contributions and illustrations.